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Coatings, Part 4

Then the salesman will talk about the various extremely valuable materials that go into the manufacture of this wonderful coating material. He will show the infrared materials and the anti-mildew materials and the titanium dioxide (more costly to mine from the ground than even GOLD). It goes on and on.

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To the right is an interior view of his “kit:” Bubbling machine, aspirin tablets, sponges, and materials “costing more to mine than GOLD.”

Then he will pull out his “bubbling machine” and ask for some water. He will fill the top of the clear plastic machine with water. He will then pump on a blood pressure bulb and air will bubble up through the machine. Champaign sized bubbles swish into the air.

Then he will take an aspirin tablet and plop it into the water … He will say: “Imagine this is the stucco of your home.” He will then talk about how water is the enemy of stucco and to protect your home you must protect it from water damage.

The bottom of the water “tank” in the bubbling machine is coated with his magic “coating.” Note that the water does not leak into the bottom, but bubbles ..bubble out!

He will then very slowly remove a jar of clear liquid from his case, open it and plop an aspirin tablet into the jar. He’ll say something like: “Can you see how super tiny bubbles are coming out of the aspirin tablet? Remind me to check on these two tablets in a little while.

Then he will take out what looks like a tongue depressor and tip just one tiny end into the bubbling machine’s water and put the tongue depressor to the side. He’ll say something like: “Imagine that this wood here in my hand is one of the 2 × 4s in your outside wall. Let’s see what water can do to your wall.

He will then talk about the ten step process by which their home will be saved from the evils of efflorescence, water damage, termites and more. And he has a full color picture book with each page made of 150 pound glossy card stock to step through to prove his points. Every once in a while he will pump on the bubbling machine bulb. Whish!

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Some place in this presentation he will notice that the aspirin tablet in the bubbling machine has completely dissolved. He will then point this out to the homeowner. “See what happens to stucco when water gets to it?”

He will then stop the presentation and take the other aspirin tablet from the clear jar of “water-phobic resin” and plop it into the water of the bubble machine. He will then continue with his presentation.

At some point the “wood” 2 × 4 model will have swollen to 5 times its original size — it was just a sponge.

And after some considerable amount of time he will point to the second aspirin tablet and

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