Coatings, Part 5

the aspirin tablet will still be perfect. He will then take the aspirin tablet out of the bubble machine and crack it like an egg. It will be perfectly dry. My Goodness!

What’s going on here? Simple. You watched him soak the second tablet in turpentine — which does not mix with water and which will not dissolve an aspirin tablet. When that second tablet is immersed in water it is protected because it is now filled with turpentine and the water cannot dissolve that which it cannot touch.

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This same aspirin demonstration could be made to sell any oil based paint as the hero of the story because turpentine is used in oil based paints as well.

Can we say that this demonstration is asinine because there are water based versions of this coating and the water based coatings do not have turpentine or any other non-water-soluble liquids in them? Or that the turpentine evaporates as the paint dries? Well, you have to decide.

He will then talk about fire damage and how this “coating” is a Class A fire retardant. He will actually take some lighter fluid, pour it onto the surface of a square of the material and set a square alight and let it burn out. He will then let the homeowner touch the “it must be super heated” square of coating … and Lo and Behold … it is cool to the touch.

The homeowner would be better off playing Three Card Monte with a Rastafarian Dread Locked Jamaican operating from a card table on Times Square.

He may pull a trick which is dangerous. He has that jar of glass beads. He may ask you to close your eyes and put your finger in the jar of glass beads. They are so light and puffy you will not feel them. But they are microscopic GLASS and having them in your lungs may not be what the doctor ordered — especially if you already smoke. By the way, they smell like “vanilla” when they get in your nose — be warned.

Then the salesman will review everything about how wonderful the coating really is. If the homeowner has a VCR the salesman will then place a videotape in the slot and everyone will view a ten minute motion picture on how these very coating materials and technologies are used in the B2 Stealth Bomber, and that plane cost Two Billion Dollars a Copy! It's true. The cenospheres are used as an IR absorber to increase the stealthiness of the plane — no they did not use this guy's coating. In fact, if he somehow got on the base they would probably shoot him on sight.

By the way, as for “skilled craftsmen” for “coating” projects. There are only a limited number of people around who can do a decent job of wall preparation, priming and painting of a house. These few workmen do the work for almost all of the home improvement companies that do this coating process.

One day they might work for company “A” and the next day for company “B. Any stories heard from the salesman about “no subcontracted labor” are probably just hooey.

Any stories about how having your house coated will keep the men employed are bogus since these workmen probably have several companies to support. One simple way to check if they are subcontractors is to look at their company “T” shirts of the people